First Love
by tinagina
Summary: Bella is 30 years old and still single, she is unable to let go of the guy she fell in love with in college. Edward finally finds his way  back into her life but an accident threatens to tear them apart forever
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is not an update sorry guys. I finally found a beta and cleaned up my chapter.

"It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no exit signs in love, there is only an on ramp."

~ Unknown~

_I have always thought that music was a window to the soul, a way to express those deep intense emotions you just can't seem to find the words for. The moment my amazing husband sat down at the piano and began to play I knew it was the truth. No one could play that beautifully and not have a gorgeous soul. The song that filled the room was slow, soft, and romantic. Edward's hands lovingly caressed the keys making the piano sing for him. My breath caught in my throat, when__I __looked up and saw the expression on his face. He was staring up at me with pure love in his eyes. My heart raced as our gazes locked, but never once did the beautiful melody falter. I got up carefully and waddled over to the piano bench so I could sit next to him. He smiled up at me, and as the melody drifted to a close, he turned to face me on the bench. Edward's eyes never left mine as hands roamed body, he stroked my cheeks and ran his hands down to my shoulders massaging them firmly. After a few moments,__he moved to my back to work__out the built-up tension there before finally stopping on my protruding belly where he rubbed gently._

"_I love you, and I can't wait to meet you__,__ Elizabeth," __he whispered__, as he leaned down and kissed my stomach. " And I love you," he told me softly. He sat up and planted the sweetest kiss on my lips. " So much," he whispered._

I awoke from my dream with a start, my hands automatically going to my empty stomach. It was only a dream of course, the same dream I had been having for the past ten years. Tears streamed down my cheeks as reality quickly sank in. When I was finally able to pull myself together, I glanced up at the clock on my night stand, 6:00 A.M., figures, The one time I get to sleep in on a weekday, and I wake up at the butt crack of dawn. I rolled over and groaned. I wanted to fall back to sleep, but no matter how hard I tried, the dream kept creeping back into my mind. Finally I gave up and sat up with a sigh, deciding to start my day early.

My heart was heavy as I went through the motions of getting ready for my day. I tried not to think about my love life or lack thereof, but today I had nothing to do to distract me. Usually on weekdays I worked as a marriage counselor in a clinic downtown. It wasn't always easy seeing struggling married couples everyday. Some times it made me doubt love. So many marriages ended in divorce these days. Was it really worth all of the anger and pain, just to have a few short years of happiness? Regardless, I loved my job and I was good at it, I guess figured that if I couldn't have a decent love life of my own, at least I could help save other people's. This week however the two couples that I normally saw on Friday mornings were both on vacation. So I sat at home with my cat Mojo, alone with nothing to distract me from my depressing thoughts. After I showered and had breakfast, I curled up on the couch with my fat cat and tried to find something interesting on T.V. to keep me from thinking too much. I skipped through the talk shows and infomercials, even a couple of game shows but nothing held my interest. Frustrated, I shut the T.V off and let my mind wander. My life wasn't all horrible; I tried to focus on the positives. I had a good job and lived in a nice little two bedroom house in a great neighborhood. The house was perfect for me and since I lived alone I used the extra room for a small library. I had shelves and shelves of books and my collection was constantly growing. My favorite part however was the small pond that sat about a mile away from my house. I visited the lovely place frequently, I loved to go there and just think about things.

After a while I got up and made some lunch, as I cooked I glanced up at the calendar and I realized that my birthday was only a few weeks away. Thinking of my birthday always depressed me, I was nearly 30 and still single. My heart still belonged to the adorable boy who had stolen it 10 years ago. No one knew that I still pined for my first love, no one except my best friend Alice Everyone else had told me to get over him several years ago. I had tried of course, but there was just something about him I could not let go of. So instead of listening to them tell me how stupid I was for longing for a man I could never have, I stopped talking about him and let them think I had moved on. Alice knew better though, she had known me my entire life and always saw through my pathetic attempts to move on. She never told me to move on, she would always just smile and tell me that I shouldn't give up on him and that she knew we would end up together in the end.

Alice had been there for me my entire life and I honestly don't know what I would do without her. Our parents had been friends since high school and they introduced us. We had even played together as babies, I honestly couldn't remember a time when Alice wasn't a part of my life. We had been there for each other through everything, from first crushes and heart break, to family problems and high school drama. On the surface we were complete opposites. She was short and thin and I was taller with rounder curves. She listened to metal music, while I preferred classical. She loved meat and I was practically a vegetarian. Despite all of that though, we got a long wonderfully, because we were the same in every way that mattered. She understood my situation better than anyone I knew because she had also struggled with unrequited love in the past. After I was finished eating I fed Mojo and wandered back into the living room. I decided to try to rein in my thoughts, focus on a happier subject so I wouldn't get too depressed. I concentrated on my best friend and closed my eyes while my thoughts drifted back to one of the many late night conversations we had over the years.

(7 years ago)

"_I swear if I'm not married by the time I'm 30 I am going to artificially inseminated," I said, with a laugh as we got ready for bed. Alice laughed and shook her head. "I'm serious though, I really want kids and if I can't find a man I'll have to find some other way."_

"_That's kind of gross though," she said with a shudder. "Having a random strangers kid."_

"_It's OK I'll just tell you I had a one night stand with a hot guy and got pregnant," I replied with a laugh. I snuggled down into my blankets and she shut off her light. "Still, it's better than living alone your whole life."_

"_You can do that, I still don't want to have kids."_

"_You'll change your mind, when you meet the right guy."_

"_If you say so, but I still don't think I will," Alice said, and I shook my head smiling._

I smiled at the memory as I came back to the present. I had been right all along though, Alice was now happily married with a baby on the way and I couldn't be happier for her. The memory brought sad feelings with it though. I was quickly approaching my 30th birthday and I had yet to find someone to spend my life with. The more I thought about it the more I really wanted to actually go through with it. I was financially stable enough to have a baby and it didn't seem like I was going to find a boyfriend anytime soon. Maybe artificial insemination was the right thing for me. I promised myself I would look into it. My musing was interrupted by a loud knock, it had made me jump so violently I nearly fell off of the couch.

I wasn't expecting company, curious, I got up to open the door. I fumbled with the lock for a moment but finally got the door open, and there standing in the door way, was the man who owned my heart. My body froze in shock and my heart began to race as I looked up into the most beautiful green eyes that I had ever seen. My breath came in short gasps and butterflies flooded my stomach as I stared at him. The years had been very kind to him; he was still just as beautiful as I remembered. He had a few lines on his face and light circles under his eyes from the hectic schedule of a doctor, but other than that he looked exactly the same as he did 10 years ago. After a few long moments of staring blankly, I finally decided that it wasn't a dream, the man of my dreams was really here, standing in my doorway.

"Edward, hi," I said, once I was able to speak again. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"I asked Alice for your address, I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind, but I just really needed to see you Bella," He said quietly. He looked down at the floor and took a deep breath before looking into my eyes. "Do you think we could talk?"

"Of course, come in." I stepped aside and allowed him to walk past me into my living room. His arm brushed mine as he passed and it sent a strange tingling shock through my body. I jumped slightly; surprised that the spark I felt whenever he touched me was still there after all this time. I took a deep breath and followed him inside. We both stood there for a moment without speaking. "Can I get you anything to drink?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"No thank you I'm fine." After another awkward pause he spoke again. "Why don't we sit down?" We walked across the room and sat on opposite ends of the couch. Edward's eyes darted around the room, as if he was searching for something. "Um... you don't have a jealous husband or boyfriend, that's going to come after me do you?" he asked chuckling nervously.

"No," I said sadly, looking down. "No husband or boyfriend," He slid closer to me until our legs were almost touching and turned toward me. My heart jumped in my chest as he took my hands in his. I looked up at him a little confused.

"Bella, I…I was so stupid all those years ago; I couldn't see what was right in front of me. The truth is, I came here because I had to tell you…"

"Tell me what?" He took a deep breath and looked into my eyes.

"I came here because I had to tell you that I love you." I gasped. "It's true I love you, I think I always have I just never realized it. I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure it out," He said, looking deep into my eyes.

My mind raced as I tried to comprehend what he was saying. For 10 long years I had pined for him, unable to move on; and now he just walks into my life and tells me he loves me. A myriad of conflicting emotions hit me all at once. Love, hope, fear, confusion, and loss all swirled around in my head . After a moment, anger became the dominant emotion, I still loved him dearly but he had ignored me for nearly ten years. Then he decides to show up here unannounced and expects me to welcome him with open arms? I jumped up off the couch and began pacing around the room.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" I screeched at him. " Do you know how many people I have hurt? How many nice guys I have had to turn down because I couldn't give them what they deserved. I couldn't give them my heart, because it didn't belong to me. You stole it ten years ago and never gave me anything in return. You didn't even give me a chance, I told you how I felt about you and you just blew me off like I didn't matter. I finally accepted the fact that we were not meant to be together. Now you track me down and tell me you love me? What did you think would happen? That I would forget the last ten years and just jump into your arms?" I practically growled at him.

Edward just sat there wide eyed, with his mouth hanging open in shock. He obviously wasn't expecting my heated rant.

"Sorry to disappoint you but I am not the same starry eyed girl that I was in college. I have changed a lot over the years."

When I finally looked over at him I could see the pain in his eyes. He got up from the couch and started to move closer to me. I could feel the bitterness and resentment that had built up over the past ten years bubble up to the surface and I backed away.

"If you would just give me a chance to explain," he pleaded, reaching for my hand. I quickly pulled it out of his reach and stepped back even further.

"Give you a chance huh? A lot like the chance you gave me? "

My anger flared once again and I knew I had to get out of there and get some fresh air before things got out of hand.

"Look I need to go out for a bit before I say or do something really stupid," I told him. "We can talk when I get back, you can stay here if you want to." Edward nodded sadly, still looking hurt.

"I'll be right here when you get back, take as long as you need" he said looking down. I nodded in response and turned to go.

"Bella," he said quietly. I turned to face him. "Just... be careful OK, it's getting dark out," he said shyly .

"I will" I promised and stepped out in to the frosty night air. The cool breeze helped to clear my head as I walked. My feet automatically lead me down the narrow dirt path I had traveled so many times before. I could feel the anger slowly seeping out of my body as I got closer to my destination. The anger was quickly replaced with nerves as I looked around, it was getting pretty dark and I never went out at night by myself, but tonight I hadn't had much of a choice. I had really just needed to get out of the house and organize my thoughts before I tried to talk to Edward again. I kept a watchful eye on my surroundings, and walked quickly. I let out a sigh of relief when I reached my favorite pond. It was a very well lit area and people passed by occasionally, so it felt safe enough. I picked a spot near the water and sat down in the soft ankle high grass. I instantly regretted not bringing a blanket to sit on, I usually did but I had been so eager to get out of my house I had forgotten to grab one. The blue and purple wildflowers surrounded me and their familiar sweet smell helped to relaxed me even further.

I stared out at the water for a long time just concentrating on relaxing and clearing my mind so I could figure out what I wanted to do when I got back home. Edward had been a large part of me for a third of my life. He was the first guy I ever really loved, he showed me what it meant to truly love someone. I thought I had been in love once, before I met Edward, but it was nothing more than a silly crush compared to how I felt about him. The moment I met him, he changed me, he made me want to be a better person. I wanted nothing more than to be with him but part of me was terrified to even give him a chance. He had never shown much interest in me back in college, what if he got bored with me? I knew that I wouldn't be able to take it if I let myself get closer to him and then he left me. I honestly felt like I wasn't good enough for him and eventually he would realize that and leave. The psychologist in me knew that my feelings of inadequacy stemmed from my childhood and had nothing to do with him. I had grown up thinking I wasn't good enough for my own parents, if they didn't think I was good enough why would anyone else? I was the oldest of two children, and being a typical first born child , I worked really hard and wanted to be the best at everything I did. My parents however didn't seem to think so. My whole childhood consisted of "well that's nice but you can do better" and being grounded for the tiniest little slip ups. It felt like nothing I did was ever good enough so eventually I just stopped trying. My parents weren't bad people, they only wanted to push me to be the best person I could be, but it ended up having the opposite effect. I knew it was wrong to base my decision on those feelings of unworthiness though, so I pushed them aside and tried to figure out what I really wanted, without letting fear decide for me. I thought about it for a long time and eventually my mind drifted back to college, back to the very first time we met.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know this took forever guys sorry. I am still not quite happy with how it turned out, but the story must go on. I hope you enjoy. Btw Stephanie owns all things Twilight. I own nothing but this plot.**

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><p>"Are you ready to go, Bella?" my dad asked as we loaded the last of my things in his truck.<p>

"Yeah, I think I have everything. Let's go." I climbed into the cab of the truck and plopped down next to Alice.

College was starting on Monday, and since I was a freshman, I had to move in early for orientation. Alice was a sophomore, so she wouldn't be moving in for a few more days. She had decided to tag along to help me get our room set up before returning home with Charlie. My mind wandered as my home town flew by outside the window. I couldn't help but wonder what college would be like. I knew what the campus looked like of course. I had been there for the tour and the entry testing. The campus itself was beautiful. A large man-made pond sat behind the cafeteria. There was a narrow river than ran through the pond and wrapped around the entire campus. Several trees and flowers were scattered all across the grounds, making you feel like you were walking through a well manicured park. Most of the buildings were old and made of brick. On the tour they had explained that the college used to be a residence for a wealthy family in the 1800's. They had kept all of the original buildings and just added new ones as they needed them.

Alice smiled at me knowingly when she noticed I was lost in thought. I had no doubt in my mind that she had been just as excited on her first day of school last year. I continued to daydream as the miles flew under the tires. Before I knew it, we had arrived. By the time we pulled into the parking lot, my excitement had increased tenfold. I hopped out of my father's truck and went around to the front of the dorm to get my room key. I swiped my new student ID card through the card reader for the first time, and the lock clicked open. I smiled as I stepped into the short line that had formed in front of the main desk.

While I waited, I looked around the dorm. There was a large lounge just to the right of lobby. It had a huge T.V. and several couches lining the walls. There were tables and chairs where people could work on homework, and in the corner was a small electric keyboard. The lounge was currently empty, but I could tell that once everyone had moved in, it would be a popular spot to hang out.

"Hi, can I get your name?" the guy behind the counter asked when it was my turn. He looked exhausted but his smile was friendly.

"Um, it is Bella. Bella Swan," I replied shyly.

"All right, let's see." He paused for a moment searching through a stack of envelops on the desk. "Ah, here we are, Bella. You are in room 201." He handed me an envelope with my room key in it.

"Thanks." I dashed up the stairs, eager to see my new room. This was no easy task, since the dorm was full of students and parents bustling in and out. When I finally reached my room, I took a deep breath and unlocked the door. The room was quite small, but it looked very cozy. In that moment, I was extremely grateful that my roommate was my best friend. I couldn't imagine how awkward it would be to have to share such a small space with a complete stranger. The window had an amazing view of the river that was sparkling like diamonds in the early morning sun. I had a feeling I would love living here. After several trips, and a few helpful students, we managed to lug all of my stuff into the small room. After much debate, Alice and I agreed on a setup. We were shoving one of the small dressers into place along the wall, when I heard a soft, velvety voice call from the doorway.

"Do you guys need any help?" the voice asked.

I looked up to find the source and was met with the most beautiful pair of green eyes. I had never believed in love at first sight, but as soon as I looked up, time stood still. For several seconds, all I could do was stare at the beautiful man in my doorway with my mouth hanging open. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. My heart sped up, and butterflies flooded my stomach as I stared at him. His short bronze hair was delightfully disheveled, and his smile was warm and friendly. He had a cute, boyish quality to his face, and I found it impossible to look away from him. After a moment, I managed to break out of my trance and answer him.

"Oh, um, no thanks. I think we've got it."

"Okay, my name is Edward. I am one of your resident advisers. This is Kate," he told me, gesturing to the short blonde girl by his side. "She is your other R.A. If you need us, we will be right down the hall."

I smiled up at him. "Thanks." Once they were out of sight, Alice snickered at me. "What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing," she sang, looking at me with wide, innocent eyes

As we finished setting up our new room, I scolded myself silently. I needed to stop reading so many old romance novels. Moments like that did not happen in real life. I spent a good hour trying to convince myself he was a jerk. There was no way a guy who looked like that, could be humble and kind.

In what seemed like no time at all, our room was all set up, and Alice was getting ready to leave. I gave her a quick hug, missing her already.

"I will see you in a few days," Alice said, returning my hug. "I will be online tonight, so we can chat after your floor meeting. Don't make me wait, I want details," she demanded.

"Okay, I will talk to you soon."

"Take good care of yourself kiddo, and don't hesitate to call if you need anything," Charlie said gruffly.

"Thanks Dad," I replied hugging him.

It took me several hours to unpack. Last month, Alice had dragged me to every store in Seattle, insisting that I needed to stock up on the essentials. Why I needed 5 pairs of heels on a college campus was beyond me, but there was no arguing with Alice. By the time we were done shopping she had bought me an entire wardrobe. Luckily, I had been able to sneak some normal cloths in my suitcases. My favorite jeans and hoodies were stacked on top of my closet, safely out of Alice's reach. Once I finished unpacking, it was time to set up my laptop. After a lengthy process, I was finally able to connect to the internet. Following a few hours of surfing the net, I decided it was time for dinner. It felt strange eating all by myself in the large cafeteria. Despite my awkward meal, I could tell that I was going to like it here. Everyone seemed so friendly, and the campus was incredibly beautiful. The food wasn't the greatest, but it was edible, mostly. When I returned to my room, I decided to watch T.V. until it was time for the meeting.

A few hours later, all of the freshman from the 2nd floor of our dorm were gathered in the small floor lounge at the end of the hallway. There were about 20 students gathered in the room trying to fit on the small couches that lined the walls. My eyes immediately searched for Edward, and I spotted him in the back of the room chatting with a large group of guys. A tall blonde girl stood extremely close to him. She was flipping her hair and smiling seductively, obviously trying to get his attention. I wanted to jump up and tell her to back off, that he was mine. The only thing that kept me in my seat, was the fact that Edward seemed oblivious. I knew rationally that I had no reason to feel jealous. He didn't belong to me, we had only just met. So why did I feel like ripping that girls hair out?

"For those of you we haven't met yet, I am Kate, and this is Edward," Kate said loudly, commanding attention. "We are your Resident Advisers. We are going to tell you a little bit about ourselves, and then we will learn about you. Like I said, my name is Kate. I am a junior, and I am majoring in business."

"I am Edward. I am a sophomore, and I am Pre-med," he added smiling warmly.

I found myself unable to keep my eyes off of him as he spoke. There was something about him that just radiated warmth and happiness. I felt inexplicably drawn to him. I mean sure, he was good looking, and he seemed nice enough, but I really didn't know much about him. We had only just met today, so why did I feel this crazy need to be near him?

I was startled from my thoughts when one of the guys across the room spoke up. "He is an awesome piano player too."

Edward's cheeks turned pink. "It is no big deal," he said, clearly trying to downplay his talent. "I am not that great. I just play for fun."

A huge smile formed on my face when I heard this. I had always loved musicians. Especially piano players, there was something raw and beautiful about music. If you really loved music, playing for someone was like sharing a small part of your soul with them. It let people see beyond your image and helps express emotions that are impossible to describe.

Kate cleared her throat loudly. "Now we are going to go around the room, and I want each of you to tell us your name, something interesting about you and the color of your toothbrush."

We went around the room fairly quickly until one of the guys paused. "My name is Riley. I was the captain of my high school softball team, and I have no idea what color my toothbrush is."

"What's the matter Riley. Don't use your toothbrush enough?" a guy in the back piped up. The room filled with laughter as Riley blushed.

"I brush my teeth every day. I just don't pay attention to what color my toothbrush is," Riley defended. Everyone laughed even harder at that, and Riley looked annoyed.

"All right guys, let's move on," Kate said, still chuckling.

My stomach fluttered with nerves as my turn approached. I knew exactly what I was going to say, but I hated speaking in public, no matter how small the audience.

"My name is Bella. I was in my high school's orchestra for four years and my toothbrush is purple and white," I said.

Edward locked eyes with me as I spoke. His forest green eyes seemed to see straight into my soul. When I finished, he gave me one of his heartbreaking smiles. It wasn't long before the entire room had finished their introductions. Kate and Edward took turns going over the dorm rules, and soon the meeting was over.

"All right, now that we have all gotten to know each other a little bit, and we've gone over the rules, I will let you guys go. Edward and I will be right down the hall if you need us for anything at all," Kate told us.

"Have fun guys. Don't be afraid to go meet your neighbors. The people here will pretty much be your family for the next year," Edward chimed in, smiling as people started to file out of the room.

I started to make my way down the hallway when I heard Edward call out to me. I turned to look at him and stopped for a moment, waiting for him to catch up. We walked down the hallway in silence for several seconds until he spoke up.

"So, you were in orchestra? That is really cool. What instrument did you play?"

"Oh um, I played the violin," I replied, blushing slightly. My heart rate skyrocketed as I looked up at his beautiful face.

"That is awesome. Do you have a violin here?"

"No, I have one at home though," I replied.

I shivered slightly as his arm brushed mine, leaving an odd tingling feeling where our skin touched. We reached the door to my room, and I turned to face him.

"Well, I would love to hear you play sometime," Edward requested, reaching out to touch my arm.

I could only nod in response. I felt my face burn as the blood rushed to my cheeks. My stomach fluttered with nerves at the mere thought of playing for him.

"I should get going, but I will see you around. Have a good night."

"Yeah thanks, you too," I replied, turning to unlock my door.

As soon as I was in the room, I locked the door and sat down at my desk. My eyes fluttered closed, and I took a deep breath trying to calm my racing heart. I couldn't help but wonder why he had such a powerful effect on me. I had never been this flustered over a guy before. Sure I had a few crushes in high school, and I dated a few people. But no one had ever had me so unraveled after just one day. After I was sufficiently calm, I decided to log in to my favorite instant messenger so I could talk to Alice. Fortunately, she was already online. As soon as I logged on she sent me a message.

**Alicat: **Hey, how was your floor meeting?

**Bellabear:** It was fine. They asked us what color our toothbrushes are. It was a little weird.

**Alicat: **Lol. Last year they asked us what kitchen tool we thought we would be.

**Bellabear:** Really? What did you say?

**Alicat:** I said I would be a whisk.

**Bellabear: **Lol, why?

**Alicat:** I don't know. It was the only thing I could think of.

**Alicat:** So, did anything happen with that cute RA?

**Bellabear:** Yeah, actually. I learned that he plays the piano.

**Alicat:**Oh, he is perfect for you.

I couldn't see Alice, but I knew that she was squealing and jumping up and down right now. That girl made a two year old with a sugar rush look mellow.

**Bellabear: **Shut up. I don't even know him. Besides, have you seen him? He is gorgeous. There is no way he would be interested in me.

**Alicat: **Don't say that. You are beautiful. If he doesn't see that, then he isn't worth your time.  
><strong>Bellabear:<strong> He did seem interested in the fact that I played the violin. We talked for a little bit after the meeting. He said that he would love to hear me play sometime.

**Alicat:** That is so exciting! Maybe he likes you.

**Bellabear: **Whatever, we just met today. There is no way he likes me.

**Alicat:** You like him, don't you?

**Bellabear:**...Yeah, but that is different.

**Alicat:** How is it different? You just met him today.

**Bellabear: **It just is, okay?

**Alicat:** We will see.

I rolled my eyes at that. Once Alice got an idea into her head, there was no talking her out of it. I knew that meddling little Pixie was going to do everything her power to prove me wrong. Just then, I heard a quiet knock on the bathroom door. As I stood up, I sent Alice a quick message.

**Bellabear:** Hold on a sec. Someone is at the door.

I got up and opened the door to find my new neighbors standing in our shared bathroom. The first girl was rather short with long brown hair. Her roommate was taller with shoulder length hair that was stylishly cut and perfectly highlighted. Her face was twisted up in a grimace, almost like she didn't want to be there.

"Hi," the first girl said, smiling at me. "My name is Angela, and this is my roommate Tanya. I just thought we should introduce ourselves, since we are going to be sharing a bathroom." Her smile was warm and friendly, and I decided that I liked her already.

"Hi, I am Bella."

"Where is your roommate?" Angela asked, looking around me and into my room.

"Oh, she is a sophomore, so she won't be moving in for a few more days."

Both of their eyes popped wide open with surprise. "Wow," Angela said. "That has to be kind of scary."

I laughed. "No, not at all. We already know each other, really well actually. She is my best friend. We pretty much grew up together."

"Oh that is cool," Angela said, looking relived. "Well, we should go. I just wanted to say hi. I'll see you around. If you need anything, just knock," she said with a parting smile before heading back to her bedroom. Once they were gone, I returned to my desk and continued my conversation with Alice.

**Bellabear: **Sorry about that: Our suite mates dropped by to introduce themselves.

**Alicat:** That is fine. So, what are they like?

**Bellabear:** Angela seems cool. She was really nice. Her roommate on the other hand... I don't know. She seemed kind of stuck up or something. I guess I will just have to get to know her.

**Alicat:** Yeah, hopefully she will turn out to be cool.

We chatted for a few more hours until I started to yawn. I glanced down at the clock and was surprised to see that it was already 11:00.

**Bellabear:** It is getting late. I should try to get some sleep. I have to be up early for tomorrow's festivities.

**Alicat:** Okay, I will talk to you soon. Love ya.

**Bellabear: **Love you too Ali. Goodnight.

I quickly got ready for bed and climbed underneath the covers. It had been a long, interesting day to say the least. I wasn't sure if everyday was going to be like this, but I knew I was going to love college. Sleep did not come as easily as I had hoped. It was strange being alone in an unfamiliar room for the first time. After about an hour of rolling around trying to sleep, my mind wandered back to Edward. Was it possible that he was interested in me? He seemed like he was, but that could just be me seeing what I wanted to see. Maybe he was just a really friendly person. I mentally shook myself. What was wrong with me? Why was I letting this get so far out of hand? I should have never let myself get so twisted up over a guy, especially one that was way out of my league. Eventually, I fell into deep sleep where my dreams were filled with messy bronze hair and piercing green eyes.

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><p><strong>Bella is really conflicted right now. She feels drawn to him, but she doesn't think love like that exists. Have any of you ever felt like that? Drop me a review and let me know what you think :)<strong>


	3. announcement

I am so sorry i took so long to update. I Know you guys hate these announcements as much as I do but I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive lol, and I do plan on continuing this story. I got a new job that makes me work all of the time, and i was busy getting a book published so i can't promise fast updates. But I can promise you that I am not giving up on this. i hope to have an unedited chapter 3 up by tomorrow sometime. Once i get it edited, i will put up the edited chap but i wanted to give you guys something. on another note, if you guys like my writing i just got my very first novel published and it is available for pre sale i anyone is interested the link will be on my profile. thanks.


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